June 2010 Link to Invisionaria website

Table of Contents

Message from Pat - Fail Fabulously

Nightmarish Slip-up

Magnificent Mistakes

Hot Links

Recommended Reads


Quote For Your Day


Scrappy Women in Business: Living Proof that Bending the Rules Isn't Breaking the Law

I have been published as a contributing author for a compilation of stories. I was asked to contribute a chapter for the "Scrappy Women in Business: Living Proof that Bending the Rules Isn't Breaking the Law" book. Take a peek and you can even pre-order.

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Message from Pat - Fail Fabulously

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."

~ Al Franken


Fail Fabulously. I first heard this term when I was attending coach training and I disliked it from the moment I heard it. What was fabulous about failing? Failing was failing and you couldn't convince me that it was a fabulous experience.

Make Better Mistakes

By Along for the Ride

Admit it. We all make mistakes. It is a big part of being human. This is probably why I spent a lot of my life avoiding making mistakes by playing it safe.

We live in a world where we are taught that whatever we do, do it right. Measure twice, cut once. Do it right the first time, or don't do it at all.

We are taught from a very early age to be perfectionists. Mistakes are to be avoided at all costs. We even cover up our mistakes and hope no one sees them as they would reflect badly on us.

I think the problem is not in making mistakes, but the stories we tell ourselves and those little (or blasting) name-calling voices in our head that start telling us how stupid we are or how incompetent we just proved ourselves to be. "There you go again. You can't do anything right, can you?"

With those inner voices talking to me when I was given full permission to fail fabulously, they went wild. "Oh, now here's an excuse you can use for not being perfect. How sad to make failing fun."

"While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior." - Henry C. Link

Well, over the years, I have learned to fail fabulously. And this is a new rule, and perhaps even a value I now hold. It's like learning to drive a car. At first we are unconsciously incompetent because we don't even think of driving a car. It's not on our radar. Then we turn a teenager and learn how to drive. Conscious incompetence is at the wheel. We are learning and are consciously incompetent as we need to learn to the level of competence. As we get more comfortable and practice driving we become consciously competent as we still need to focus on the mechanics of driving. One day it becomes second nature to us and we are now unconsciously competent. We don't even think about the "how" of driving. We just do it.

To learn to drive a car, we had to fail fabulously. Hopefully with no serious accidents.

I now feel if I'm not failing fabulously, then I'm not really living this game called life. I'm not growing, I'm not learning, I'm not challenged or motivated.

I even made a failure resume. I took a look back on my biggest personal, professional and academic failures. It helped me see how failure got me on a different road to success. Yes, it was a road I had not originally chosen, but one that was better for me to take.

I can happily say I have failed fabulously in my life. I am getting really good at failing and learning from it. I have something to celebrate.

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life...don't wait...model leadership...the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!


Nightmarish Slip-up

Fail by Yrix

By Yrix

The good news is that it happens to everyone. The bad news is that it will almost definitely happen to you. We're talking about a nightmarish slip-up at the office. Don't let a mistake ruin your rep; find out how to make the best of a bad situation. Read on to see how these women survived embarrassing office moments.

back to top

Magnificent Mistakes

Ball of Paper by Electronic Eyes









By Electronic Eyes












I used to hate making mistakes
I tried to avoid them at all times
Mistakes in grade school were punished
Like something was wrong if I failed
I became adept at being perfect
Mistakes I wasn't allowed to make
Because my mistakes were magnified
By those who had influence over me
I respected those much older
Who criticized, complained, and condemned
While I began to model my life
After those who professed to know all
I grew older, and experience I gained
With so much to do and so much to learn
I couldn't keep from making mistakes
I tried so hard, but couldn't avoid them
Soon, discouraged and overwhelmed I became
I shut off the valve of making mistakes
And along with it my aspirations and dreams
As well as all action I'd been taking
My growth was stunted, but I knew not
Stagnant I became, idling along
But finally free from mistakes and failure
And free from feeling the accompanying pain
But try as I might, I couldn't get rid
Of this gnawing feeling deep in my heart
But I wouldn't go back to where I was at
And feel the sting of failure from before
Stuck in limbo, no options at hand
Until I studied those who succeeded
I found they weren't perfect like I had thought
They had failed much worse than me
For success is failure many times over
More than most are willing to bear
Each failure a clue, the next step on the path
Showing the way dreams can be crafted
Each master was once a disaster
Willing to fail surprisingly fast
Knowing from that he'd learn what to do
What cannot be learned anywhere else
Back to my mistakes I humbly went
Wincing at first, but then accepting
Growing thick skin, becoming unphased
My imperfections I came to love
What I once had seen as poison darts
Piercing my heart and crippling my will
Are now wads of paper, bouncing right off
As I pick them up to see the lessons written

~Jason Westlake

Hot Links!

  • Fail Fast and Frequently: What's the secret sauce of Silicon Valley? Failure, reports Tina Seelig, Executive Director of the Stanford Technology Ventures Program. To develop more successes, she urges, entrepreneurs have got to take a risk, and this is the notion behind every deal in the entire ecosystem.



Join me for a unique coaching experience with a group of friends, family or colleagues. Empower Party time is your time to re-energize your life; explore new ways of thinking, reframe everyday challenges as possibilities and discover new paths toward personal growth and development. Contact me (hyperlink to email) to set a date that's convenient to you. More information: www.empowerparties.com.


Join me for a ½ day workshop and learn how to step into playing a Bigger Game. July 10th in the San Francisco Bay Area.

The Bigger Game

Contact me directly for specifics at Pat@inVisionaria.com. More Bigger Game info: TheBiggerGame.com

"Quote For Your Day!"

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

~ George Bernard Shaw

I send out a "Quote for Your Day!" on a daily basis. If you'd like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, register for the daily quote: Sign Up for Quote for Your Day!

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2010 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat M. Obuchowski

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.



"My experiences over the last two years with Pat have been very fulfilling and rewarding. I have engaged Pat to work with me in team development, team identity and team goals. Additionally, Pat has facilitated two team building sessions for my multi-generational and very diverse team. She has helped me to obtain personal feedback from my team, continue to develop my leadership growth, and grow my team's skills. Pat brings a wonderful combination of listening/empathy and "cut to the chase" to any coaching situation. She brings a wealth of tailored coaching and development tools that she can pull out of her bag like magic. She is a delight to work with!"

~Director from a Public Utility Company


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