August 2009

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Message from Pat - Transitions


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Message from Pat - Transitions

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

~Charles DuBos

Transition is the process of letting go of the way things used to be and then taking hold of the way they subsequently become. Sounds easy, but in reality, it is really hard letting go of the comfort of sameness.

Gateway by Sigma
Gateway by Sigma

We resist transition not because we can't accept the change, but because we can't accept letting go of that piece of ourselves that we have to give up when and because the situation has changed.

Although transitions are hard they are key times in the natural process of our self-renewal.

Major transition is happening. And it has, and is, and will be happening to each of us. It cannot be avoided.

No matter how hard we scream "NO!"

William Bridges' famous book "Transitions" offers a simple three passage way through transitions:

  1. Endings. Every transition begins with an ending. These endings are not to be confused with finalities. We cannot say to ourselves "It is finished!" We need to recognize that an ending is actually a new beginning and every ending has one. This is where we "Let Go."
  2. The Neutral Zone. This is a time when we feel disconnected from people, places and things in our lives. We feel emotionally unconnected and can't find that connection we once felt. This is normal. This is a time of reorientation and looking for a new beginning.
  3. The New Beginning. We come to beginnings only at the end. It is at this time that we are ready to launch into something new for ourselves. We look for the signs and take action that point the way to our future and complete the transition process.

If you are feeling you are in a transition right now. Whether it be a job or career transition, a transition in your relationship, or just a time for self-renewal, here are a few ideas to help you get and stay into action:

  • Take your time. You cannot rush the inner process that will change.
  • Arrange temporary structures. Sameness of some aspect helps.
  • Don't act for the sake of action. Transitions require that we bring a chapter of our lives to conclusion and that we discover whatever we need to learn for the next step we are going to take.
  • Recognize why you are uncomfortable. Recognize the phases of transitions and identify where you are at: Denial; Resistance; Exploration; Commitment.
  • Take care of yourself in little (or BIG) ways.
  • Get someone to talk to. Find allies.
  • Begin a Journal. This gives you the opportunity to reflect and look back.
  • Find out what is waiting in the wings of your life. Journal around the question, "What is waiting to happen in my life now?" Don't plan it out or try to figure it out, just start writing and write as quickly as you can.
  • Find a regular time and place to be alone. Spend time in quiet and meditation.
  • Take this opportunity to discover what you really want.
  • Take a few days to go on your own version of a 'Passage Journey'. Take time away from your every day surroundings.
  • Spend time in nature.

"When you can't see straight ahead, it's because you're about to turn a corner." ~Myrtle Reed

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life…don't wait…model leadership…the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!



Crystal Ball in Sky by Pensiero
Image by: Pensiero

It is the gap of transition that shakes us.

Those moments before true movement has been achieved, that bring us to a level of uncertainty.

Let us embrace those moments when change has not yet come.

To see that this is a necessary moment, before a new race has begun.

In quiet mindful moments the transition shall appear.

As we open up our hearts to hear the silence, we are now willing to hear.

To see past all the dancing of the mind, as a friend we can lovingly leave behind.

For we are now ready to embrace a new level of tranquility, that is reflected at a deeper level of ourselves.

As we accept change...We may move forward...Embracing all that is meant to be.

~Robin Masiewicz

Hot Links!

Recommended Reads with links to

  • Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges
  • Your Next Move: The Leader's Guide to Successfully Navigating Major Career Transitions by Michael Watkins
  • Transitioning by Dan Southerland


Join me for a ½ day workshop and learn how to step into playing a Bigger Game. January 9 and January 30 in the Bay Area. Contact me directly for specifics at More Bigger Game info:

"Quote For Your Day!"

"There is a time for departure, even when there's no certain place to go."

~Tennessee Williams

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Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2009 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


"Pat is a superb coach. She is one of those rare breeds who do well not only in one-on-one coaching but also in facilitating groups and developing teams. She helps people negotiate periods of transition with purpose and with grace. Her breadth of experience and knowledge is a great asset to any organization or individual that works with her."

~ Heidi Eisips,
Business Entrepreneur


CONTACTING ME. Feel free to contact me about my services via email or call me at 650-245-0321.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY: I never rent, trade or sell my email list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. You'll never get an unsolicited email from a stranger as a result of joining this list.

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Link to Invisionaria website