March 2009

Table of Contents

Message from Pat - Giving Great Feedback

Giving Support

Giving Constructive Feedback

Hot Links

Recommended Reads

Quote For Your Day

Social Media Links

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Message from Pat - Giving Great Feedback

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

~Margaret Cousins

"Can I give you some feedback?" Why is it when we hear that question, we freeze and tell ourselves something bad is coming?

Invisionaria and FeebackI have grown to really appreciate least the type of feedback that is very constructive with suggestions on how I might change my behavior for the better. I believe we always have the choice to listen to the feedback and start to take the action steps to change or just say "Thank-you for the feedback" and decide it was valuable, but decide not to change. My choice.

I believe that great feedback is possible... even if you need to deliver some very challenging feedback.

Here are 10 steps to giving great feedback, both challenging and appreciative:

1. Develop an outline and write down key messages.

2. Be sure to gather specific examples and facts.

3. Be sure to explain the impact of the behavior on you.

4. Answer the questions: What do I want for me in this conversation? What do I want for the other person? What do I want for our relationship?

5. Understand the person’s communication style and anticipate their questions and reactions.

6. Focus on results and behaviors, not the emotions and personalities. Principles before personalities.

7. Be sure to acknowledge accomplishments. One can always find something to appreciate in another human being.

8. Give specific examples of how to improve, if appropriate.

9. Listen actively.

10. Communicate your support in helping the individual change their behavior. Follow through on any promised you made to help.

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light."

~ Albert Schweitzer

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life...don't wait...model leadership...the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!


Giving Support by J. Donald Walters
(The Art of Leadership)

  1. Try always to strengthen your subordinates in their work, in their creativity, and in their qualities of leadership.

  2. Encourage them in their projects.

  3. Allow them to learn by their mistakes.

  4. Be willing to compromise.  Don’t ask more of people than they are able to deliver; or, if you do, stretch their horizons gradually.

  5. Invite their support; don’t commandeer it.

  6. Accept only as much authority as they are willing to give you.

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Giving Constructive Feedback

Giving Constructive Feedback for Dummies: Includes Content, Manner, Timing and Frequency.

Hot Links!

  • A new perspective: When you think of giving feedback, start giving feedforward - focus on the promise of the future rather than the mistakes of the past. More info at Let go of the past... Click here for a YouTube video

  • This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20 year old. The contest was Titled "u @ 50", by the AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it , everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant. Take a minute and watch it.

  • For the Intelligent Optimist: Get a daily dose of good news:

"Quote For Your Day!"

"Everything that looks great now, once seemed impossible."

~ Chinese Proverb

I send out a "Quote for Your Day!" on a daily basis. If you'd like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, register for the daily quote: Sign Up for Quote for Your Day!

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2009 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


"I have been a client of Pat’s for over a year now. I was originally attracted to her coaching because of her compassion and empathy, and quickly found her coaching skills to be very effective in moving me forward in both my business and personal life. Pat knows exactly the right questions to ask in order to get to the root of an issue, and helps me find the answers myself. I often come to a coaching session with a particular issue in mind and have my answers before the session is over. I have learned many things working with Pat, including how to work with difficult people, finding the confidence to take necessary risks, and taking care of myself while taking care of my business.

I consider Pat part of my "business team" of people who support me and have helped me achieve my success so far, and I am looking forward to much more success with Pat as my coach!

~ Gillian Hood-Gabrielson, MS, ACSM


CONTACTING ME. Feel free to contact me about my services via email or call me at 650-245-0321.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY: I never rent, trade or sell my email list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. You'll never get an unsolicited email from a stranger as a result of joining this list.

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Link to Invisionaria website