September 2008

Table of Contents

Message from Pat -Growing Your Network

Vote in California

It Couldn't Be Done

Recommended Reads

Hot Links

Quote For Your Day

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Message from Pat - Growing Your Network

"It's not what you know but who you know that makes the difference."


For most of my life, I fought against the truth in this quote. I was raised and believed and valued hard work and humility. I was told to work hard and eventually you will be recognized. I believed it was your work that spoke for you and your capabilities.

I still believe this. But now, I also believe it is who you know that makes the difference.

A recent client of mine was laid off from the company she worked at for almost 16 years. This was the only company she worked at since college. For these 16 years, both her personal and professional life primarily involved the people she worked with. She imagined she would work at this company until she retired.

When we began to explore what was next for her, she said she regretted not networking more outside of her company. She felt that the only resources she had were those in the company she was leaving. This left her feeling boxed in with few resources to turn to. She also felt that she had no idea of what might be possible outside her industry and wanted to look there.

We started to talk about networking and the value of always networking regardless of where you are in life. Networking is simply the art of building alliances. I look at my network of alliances and use them as valuable and precious resources. I have built a network that is varied and very different from me. Because of the diversity in their experiences, they inspire me to look at things from many perspectives.

It is not about the quantity of contacts you have, but more about the relationships and building and maintaining those relationships.

If you are wanting to expand, one place to begin networking is with professional organizations. Choose a few that you are interested in that either relate to your current profession, or maybe a profession you are interested in looking into.

One of the best bits of advice I received when I first consciously began networking for my business is to drop my "What's in it for me?" attitude. Once I did this, networking became easy. Once I did this, it became all about the other person. This made it very easy to get into conversation with others.

Believe me, people love to talk about themselves...I do! And when you ask them about them, they also think you are a fascinating conversationalist! All you need are some really great questions.

Here's a few of the things that work for me:

  • Be the first to approach someone, introduce yourself and shake their hand firmly.
  • Always wear your name badge on your right side. This helps people look easily from your shaking hand to your lapel and then to you.
  • Ask "How did you get started in the business?" or "How did you get to where you are at now?"
  • Ask "What do you enjoy most about what you are doing?" What are your greatest challenges?"
  • Ask "How can I help you?" Ask this only if you are sincere about helping them and will. There is nothing worse than having someone take you up on your offer and you are not able to deliver. Bad beginning for building relationships.
  • Think of a way they can help you. Perhaps it is a simple resource or an introduction to someone you want to meet. Ask! The worst case scenario is they'll say "No". At least you'll know where you stand.
  • Ask for their business card and look at it! Don't just take it and toss it in your pocket. Respect them. And yes, be sure you have a separate pocket for your cards to hand out and for those you receive so you don't hand someone else's card out.
Finally, at the end of the conversation, just say "Thank you. I enjoyed the conversation." Again, only say the second sentence if you actually did enjoy the conversation. People know when you lie, so don't.

"The successful networkers I know, the ones receiving referrals and feeling truly happy about themselves, continually put the other person's needs ahead of their own."
~ Bob Burg

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life...don't wait...model leadership...the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong.


Vote in California

If you canít get to the polls on November 4 Ė or if you just donít want to GO to the polls on November 4 Ė for ANY reason - hereís a link to request an absentee ballot so you can vote by mail. You can also register to vote or find your polling location. Click Here for a link.

This is our privilege and our responsibility. If you donít vote, you donít get to complain. Itís that simple.

It Couldn't Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn't be done, but he with a chuckle replied that 'maybe it couldn't,' but he would be one who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin on his face.

If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: 'Oh, you'll never do that; at least no one ever has done it'; but he took off his coat and he took off his hat, and the first thing we knew he'd begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, without any doubting or quiddit, he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done, there are thousands to prophesy failure; there are thousands to point out to you, one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin, just take off your coat and go to it; just start to sing as you tackle the thing that 'cannot be done,' and you'll do it.

-Edgar Albert Guest

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Recommended Reads with links to

Hot Links!

  • Here's a link to an article for those of you who Hate to Schmooze...

  • Discover the secrets of working the room - a 4 minute You Tube video where you might recognize the person at the beginning as 'you'. The end of the video has some great tips for who and how to approach people at networking events.

  • 10 Tips for Successful Business Networking - An article with great ideas for effective business networking - the linking together of individuals who, through trust and relationship building, become walking, talking advertisements for one another.

"Quote For Your Day!"

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

~ T.S. Elliot

I send out a "Quote for Your Day!" on a daily basis. If you'd like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to with "Quote" in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2007 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


As an Executive Director, I initially sought coaching services to assist me in answering to the 19 plus "bosses" on my board of directors. I found that there was no one I could really turn to for objective suggestions on how to formulate strategies and techniques to steer through this huge sea of organizational change.

Pat has provided that for me, and then some! We have collectively embraced new ways of thinking and working that have transformed my ability to respond to my board, coming from a place of strength and centeredness, very different from the "reactionary" approach I found myself taking before working with Pat.

~ Executive Director


CONTACTING ME. Feel free to contact me about my services via email or call me at 650-245-0321.

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