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Message from Pat

What's Important in Life

Knowing Victory & Defeat

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Message from Pat

"If you are not taking care of your sustainability, then you are 'full of it.'"

~ Laura Whitworth (The Bigger Game Manual)

The issue of sustainability and self care has come up many, many times recently.

"Sustainability" is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as: "To keep in existence; to maintain. To supply with necessities or nourishment. To keep from falling or sinking. To support the spirits or resolution of."

The topic of sustainability always comes up in my work with individuals. How do we keep the work/life balance? How do we be sure to take care of ourselves first? I'm sure you know the metaphor that is used in the conversation around work/life balance. It's like the oxygen mask on an airplane. You are told to put it on yourself first and then take care of those around you. Without the mask to provide you oxygen, you are no good to those around you.

Here's what I know about my avoiding of sustainability:

  • Sometimes my avoidance of sustainability is ego based. If I do so much at the sacrifice of my sustainability, people will say "Isn't she amazing? How does she find the time to do it all?" I only do it while sacrificing myself.
  • Sometimes my avoidance of sustainability is really about avoidance of something else…something bigger. If I don't take good care of me, I can use it as an excuse for why I'm not doing what I really need to be doing. It becomes a comfort zone.
  • At times I believe my worth is measure by what I 'do' and not who I am being. When this happens, the first thing to go is my self care so I can 'do' more and more.
  • And there are those times that saying "No" is something I cannot do because I don't want to appear as uncooperative or not helpful.

As leaders it is a 'no kidding around' responsibility that we have to take care of ourselves before we take care of those around us...before we can serve others.

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life…don't wait…model leadership…the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!


What's Important in Life

The following are excerpts from a commencement speech by the writer, Anna Quindlen, to the graduates at Villanova a few years ago.

"I have no specialized field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a disadvantage talking to you today. I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first.

Don't ever forget what a friend once wrote Senator Paul Tsongas when the senator decided not to run for re-election because he had been diagnosed with cancer: "No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'"

Don't ever forget the words my father sent me on a postcard last year: "If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in the driveway of the Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living.

But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life.

Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul.

Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone.

Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous.

And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived."

Knowing Victory and Defeat

"Think about it….

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of the good deeds have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

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Recommended Reads with links to

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Listen to Sandra Yancey, founder of eWomen Network as she interviewed me on WBAP News/Talk 820, an ABC/Disney Company, and the #1 listened-to radio station in Texas

A woman from the inside out:

"Quote For Your Day!"

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand—and melting like a snowflake."

~ Marie Beynon Ray

I send out a "Quote for Your Day!" on a daily basis. If you'd like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to with "Quote" in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2007 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


"Pat gave me some great, inexpensive (nearly guerilla-style) ways to attack the new year and gain more exposure for my Company. I feel appreciative for her giving me homework and making me think more critically.  I found so valuable her inspiration and belief in my company goals.   Her positive energy was greatly received and I want to spend MORE time brainstorming with her."

~ Amie Chilson, Girl Powered Real Estate, Owner


CONTACTING ME. Feel free to contact me about my services via email or call me at 650-245-0321.

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