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Message from Pat

How to Make a No-Lose Decision

Write Yourself a Letter

Whose Life is it Anyway?

Recommended Reads

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Quote For Your Day!


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Message from Pat

"A peacefulness follows any decision, even a wrong one."

~ Rita Mae Brown

I have let go of the notion that there are "right" decisions and there are "wrong" decisions. I have learned any decisions I make are the best decisions I make at a specific point in time with the information I have at that one point in time. As time changes, my decisions change.

Even the "wrong" decisions have shown me the many, many ways I do not want to go. They have been some of my most valuable lessons and with every "wrong" decision comes the invaluable lesson of what to look for (or not look for) the next time I'm faced with which road to take.

I have also come to realize that the tough part of decision making is just deciding and putting the stake in the ground. Oh, the energy wasted in the struggle of making a decision.

"No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently."
~Agnes deMille

My question back to Agnes deMille is, "Why not?" For all the time and energy and struggle and fortitude it sometimes takes me to get to that stake in the ground, I deserve trumpets!

I am very fond of setting goals and keeping my vision alive to achieve those goals. One of my main goals in 2007 is to allow decisions to come to me easily and effortlessly and when I feel the struggle to remind myself it's just a leap of faith. I get to do the footwork and let go of the results.

When I think of doing this, I think of the challenge to truly believe everything I do in this world is a choice. Life is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. Everything. No exceptions. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Try looking at your world through the lens of "Everything I do is a choice." See how different your day is. See how powerful you are for when you come from a place of choice, you cannot be a victim.

"The strong principle of growth lies in human choice."
~George Eliot

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life…don't wait…model leadership…the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!


How to Make a ‘No-Lose' Decision

 One of the biggest fears that keeps us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The problem is that we have been taught "Be careful! You might make the wrong decision!" We are afraid that the wrong decision will deprive us of something – money, friends, lovers, status or whatever the right decision is supposed to bring us.

Before making a decision do the following:

  • Focus immediately on a No-Lose Model. Believe that regardless of which path you choose, each path has nothing but ‘goodies' along the way. These are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities – despite the outcome.
  • Do your homework. It is most helpful to learn about the alternatives that lie before you. Talk to as many people as will listen. Approach professionals for their opinions. Look for feedback. Talk to those people who support your learning and growing.
  • Establish your priorities. Give yourself time to think about what you want. Remember, goals constantly change as you go through life, and you have to keep reassessing them.
  • Trust your impulses. Although you might have difficulty getting to the "person within" through the soul-searching process, your body sometimes gives some good clues about which way to go. Trust your gut.
  • Lighten up. We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions very seriously. I have news for you. Nothing is that important. Whatever happens as a result of your decision, you'll handle it.

 Excerpted from Susan Jeffers' book: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway".

Exercise: Write Yourself a Future Letter

When faced with a challenging decision, it is useful to vision where you want to be. One exercise that can help visioning is to write a future letter to yourself. Date the letter six months in the future and write as if you are in that day looking back on the previous six months.

Write what your top five values are and how you've lived by those values in the past six months.

Consider the following questions:

  • What is your life like when you fully live in your values?
  • What will you remind yourself of when you have major decisions to make?
  • What type of a support system do you have?
  • How are you taking care of yourself physically?
  • How are you taking care of yourself emotionally?
  • How are you taking care of yourself spiritually?
  • What actions did you take in the last six months to fully live your values?
  • What do you want to be reminded of so you can support yourself?
  • Who are you becoming? What are your next steps?

At the end of your writing, stop and ask yourself the question, "What decision will best support me?"

Begin writing again starting with, "The decision to (insert your decision) has helped me get to where I am today."

The answer will come.

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Workshop: Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Relieved that the holidays are over?

Are you feeling pushed and pulled by everyday demands?

Ready for a change?

Join us on Saturday, February 3, from 1:00-5:00 PM for an interactive exploration of our lives and our dreams.  Using visualization, meditation, planning and play, we will remember our values and reclaim our lives.  We will remember and reclaim what's important in our lives, what we love, what's fun – good things that we may have forgotten or let go by the wayside, including the things that we most want in our lives.  We will begin the process of designing a future we love.  All of this in a fun, easy, effortless afternoon with a few good people.

Details are listed below.  Feel free to email me or call me at (650) 245-0321 with any questions.

A 4-hour, interactive workshop exploring your life and your vision
Saturday, February 3, 2007, 1:00 PM – 5:00 PM
46597 Paseo Padre, Fremont CA 94539
(510) 573-1010
Open to everyone.  No previous experience is necessary. 
Led by Pat Obuchowski and Ken Oakley, professional coaches.
Only $25 in advance/$40 at the door
With a check made out to Ken Oakley and mailed to him at the address above

Recommended Reads with links to

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Listen to Sandra Yancey, founder of eWomen Network as she interviewed me on WBAP News/Talk 820, an ABC/Disney Company, and the #1 listened-to radio station in Texas

A woman from the inside out:

"Quote For Your Day!"

"Envy someone and it pulls you down. Admire them and it builds you up. Which makes more sense?"
~Elvis Presley

I send out a "Quote for Your Day!" on a daily basis. If you'd like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to with "Quote" in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people and organizations find their "Bigger Game™".

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© 2007 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live Web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography:

Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.

The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


"Pat cuts right to the chase, and challenges me to move forward on making steps to take my business to the next level. By asking questions about how I market and sell my services, she found that there are certain areas where I hesitate to go for what I really want. From there she simply asked me why I was making excuses and not taking action! Her questions prompt me to look at my actions, and take action."

~ Holistic Health Care Provider


CONTACTING ME. Feel free to contact me about my services via email or call me at 650-245-0321.

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