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Message from Pat

Discovering Your Purpose

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life by Anna Markova


Recommended Reads

Upcoming Workshop Offerings

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Message from Pat

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

- Albert Schweitzer

Some individuals hire me as their coach to find out what their purpose is in life. They feel they’ve been living a full life, but there is still something missing, something that needs to be fed.

I talked about hunger in last month’s ezine. Hunger is that something that must change in the world. Hunger is looking outside of ourselves.
Compelling purpose (another one of the squares in “The Bigger Game” model) is about your soul’s hunger. It is about what you want to see happen in your world. Knowing your compelling purpose gives you a good enough reason to leave your comfort zones and get into action around fulfilling your purpose.

Without a compelling purpose, no action is taken. We just keep dreaming (or complaining) about those things we’d like to see happen.

I presented “The Bigger Game” model to a group of high school technology leaders and asked them why compelling purpose was important. Here are some of their remarks:

• It feeds the hunger
• It directs the hunger
• It makes you leave your comfort zones
• It makes you stronger
• It brings ethics into the hunger
• It’s the driving force behind the work one does
• Why do anything without a purpose?

I repeat, why do anything without a purpose? Ah, the wisdom of youth.
Having a compelling purpose demands that you change and grow. It demands that you get into action to change what your soul is being called to.

So, how do you find your compelling purpose?

Some places to look are: What are you complaining about? What is something that happened to you in your childhood and must not happen to others? What is something that still hurts inside of you? What makes you angry? What must stop or must be? Where do you feel powerless? What makes you happy and alive? What do you want more of?

Once you know your compelling purpose it will make you feel alive. You will know what you need to do next. You will be committed to something that will make you stretch and grow. You will be living with intention.

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. Life is not ‘brief candle’ to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

- George Bernard Shaw

Step into leading and play a Bigger Game in your life…don’t wait…model leadership…the World needs us to do this.

Lead strong!


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How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

That’s it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.

When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

- Steve Pavlina (

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life by Anna Markova

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.


I recently had the honor of meeting Pat McHenry Sullivan at a conference I attended in early May. I remember reading Pat’s “Vision and Values” columns on spirit and work in the San Francisco Chronicle a few years back. I was a huge fan of her writings as it was gutsy to voice the idea of bringing your heart and soul into your work and business. It was amazing to see her articles carried in the business section!

I recently attended a lecture at The Spirit and Work Resource Center in Berkeley, CA. where Pat spoke about creating a Heart and Soul Business Plan. She combines the practical considerations, such as products and services, marketing, sales, operations, management and finances along with the essential questions we must ask ourselves: How shall I value my work? How am I deeply called to offer these products and services? How can my leadership balance the wisdom of the world and that of my heart and soul?

She commits to fulfilling her vision of helping others create heart and soul business plans in a way that generates integrity, meaning and joy for all concerned.

I consider Pat one of my Allies in my work.

Find out more: If you write Pat at, she will send you some of the handouts from the talk I attended.

Recommended Reads with links to

Leadership From the Inside Out by Kevin Cashman

The Purpose of Your Life: Finding Your Place In The World Using Synchronicity, Intuition, And Uncommon Sense by Carol Adrienne

Upcoming Workshop Offerings

Bigger Game Workshop: Has something been calling you? Maybe a whisper, a tug or a knowing there is something bigger waiting for you…possibly something your soul has been craving. The Bigger Game is a dynamic interactive workshop that naturally calls the better you yet to be expressed.

In this workshop we will explore and define the elements required to actually be IN a Bigger Game. Our objectives in working together are:

To clearly define the elements of The Bigger Game Model.
Have you learn what it means to be a Bigger Game Player
Have you explore your own personal Comfort Zones and potential Bigger Game
Outline the process of setting up a Bigger Game strategy, so that you are experienced enough to meaningfully move into bold action around your Bigger Game.
Connect you with other Bigger Game Players.

Come let your Bigger Game Player come out to lead and experience the fun and excitement of having a Bigger Game to Play.

Sept 15-17 in the San Francisco Bay Area.

For more information see:
To register contact me at or 650-245-0321

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"Quote For Your Day!"

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

- E.M. Forster

I send out a “Quote for Your Day!” on a daily basis. If you’d like to start your day with a bit of inspiration and sometimes a laugh, sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to with “Quote” in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people find their "Bigger Game."

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2006 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography
Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.
The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.


"What a gift it is to have Pat Obuchowski as a Premier Coach of eWomenNetwork! She's smart, solution oriented and a joy to work with."

- Kym Yancey, President, eWomenNetwork



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