inVisionaria inVisionaria


Message from Pat

The Truth About Fear

Signals of Transitions

Allies

Recommended Reads

Upcoming Workshop Offerings

Quote For Your Day!

Message from Pat

“What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

- T.S. Eliot

The Chinese character for ‘crisis’ consists of two parts: one signifies danger and the other opportunity. This is the nature of change; we respond to both aspects…danger, and opportunity. There is opportunity in danger and danger in opportunity.

The focus of this ezine is on transitions. The path through transitions is rarely smooth or predictable. We need to first recognize the need for a change and let go of our old ways. It is often an emotional struggle.

A transition can be unexpected, sudden or unsettling such as the death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness or injury, or it can be welcomed and planned.

External global forces, as well as internal economic and social pressures contribute to transitions – in both our personal and our professional worlds.

There are four phases of a transition in our lives.

The first phase is denial. Our first response is often shock – a general refusal to recognize the information. In this way we protect ourselves from being overwhelmed. Common responses to this include:

  • Denial: “This can’t be happening.”
  • Ignoring: “I’ll just wait until this blows over."
  • Minimizing: “This just needs a few minor adjustments.” “I can just tweak this…” “If only…”

The second phase is resistance. In this phase, things often seem to get worse. It is common to spend time looking for someone or something to blame. Personal distress levels rise. You may become physically ill or feel all sorts of physical, emotional or mental symptoms. In this phase, you are mourning the past more than preparing for the future.

By acknowledging your feelings at this stage you are ready to move more quickly to the next phase.

The third phase is exploration. After a period of struggle, individuals and organizations usually emerge from their negativity, breathe a sigh of relief, and shift into a more positive, hopeful, and future-focused phase. You realize you are going to make it though OK.

What emerges here is the energy to put a search into action. You begin to discover and explore new ways. You start clarifying goals, assessing resources, exploring alternatives, and experiment with new possibilities. This is a period of high energy.

Finally, the last phase, commitment. You have broken through the problems, discovered new ways of doing things and or adapted to the new situation. The commitment phase begins when you focus on a new course of action. There has been growth and adaptation.

The cycle of transition never ends. As long as you live, you will continually experience a rhythm of change and face new challenges and crises. Knowing the different phases of transition may help make the transitions easier to go through.

“If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change.”

- John A. Simone

Step into leading and welcome transitions…don’t wait…model leadership…the world needs us to do this.

Lead strong!

Pat


back to top


The Truth about Fear

All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.

Whatever happens to you, given any situation, you can handle it!

Five truths about fear:

1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out…and do it.
3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out…and do it.
4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

If everyone feels fear when approaching something totally new in life, yet so many are out there ‘doing it’ despite the fear, then we must conclude that fear is not the problem.

Obviously, the real issue has nothing to do with the fear itself, but, rather, how we HOLD the fear. For some, the fear is totally irrelevant. For others, it creates a state of paralysis. The former hold their fear from a position of power (choice, energy and action), and the latter hold it from a position of pain (helplessness, depression, and paralysis.)

The kind of power I am talking about makes you less manipulative of those around you and certainly more loving. I am talking about power within the self. This means power over your perceptions of the world, power over how you react to situations in your life, power to do what is necessary for your own self-growth, power to create joy and satisfaction in your life, power to act and power to love.

- Excerpt from: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, PhD.

back to top


Signals of Transitions

Change is like a rock thrown into a pond. It ripples through your life causing disruption, excitement, distress, and sometimes crisis. Your usual ways of doing things and your plans for the future can come into question. In place of clarity, change brings uncertainty and transition. This disruption is not only in your mind; it can affect you physically, and even make you ill. It can also affect your emotions, especially your feelings about yourself.

As you go through a transition, you should be alert to the possibilities of negative effects of the change on:

1.
Body: headaches, rashes, feelings of exhaustion, stomach problems, minor pains, increased chances of becoming ill, etc.
2.
Mind: negative thoughts, confusion, difficulty concentrating, lower productivity. Sleeplessness, forgetting details, mind goes blank, etc.
3.
Feelings: anxiety, anger fear, frustration, depression, excitement or withdrawal.

Think over recent major changes you have experienced. Write down any signals you have noticed. Physical signals, Mental signals, Emotional signals.

It is common for people to be more aware of the signals in one area. This is why some people may show different responses to change than you do. Your goal is to learn to notice the signals from all three areas so you can respond to them sooner. Mental and emotional signals are often harder for people to identify – we have less of a “language” for noticing these signals. But don’t ignore them, they are all important.

- Excerpt from: “Managing Personal Change: Moving Through Personal Transitions by Cynthia Scott and Dennis Jaff


Allies

I am looking for people who are playing ‘Bigger Games’ in their lives. A ‘game’ is defined as ‘what you are up to’ in your life. A ‘bigger game’ is at a higher level and has some distinct elements.

A Bigger Game:

  • is something that requires you to evolve, to add new competencies, to become a new leader.
  • means you are focused on a higher purpose rather than on yourself.
    feeds a hunger that most human beings experience; a hunger for a meaningful life, one that has impact.
  • serves a higher, more compelling purpose. It is not about you.
  • has an impact on the greater community.
    Is one that cannot be played alone.

If you know of anyone (even you!) that is playing a ‘Bigger Game’ in their lives, please contact me. I am interested in talking to them and writing about their story.


Recommended Reads with links to Amazon.com

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, PhD.

Managing Personal Change: Moving Through Personal Transitions by Cynthia Scott and Dennis Jaffe


Upcoming Workshop Offerings

Bigger Game Workshops: Has something been calling you? Maybe a whisper, a tug, or a knowing there is something bigger waiting for you…possibly something your soul has been craving. The Bigger Game is a dynamic interactive workshop that naturally calls 'the better you' yet to be expressed. Come let your Bigger Game Player come out to lead and experience the fun and excitement of having a Bigger Game to Play.
June 9-11, 2006 in San Mateo, CA.

Call me for more information at 650-245-0321.

back to top

"Quote For Your Day!"

“The Gods have two ways of dealing harshly with us – the first is to deny us our dreams, and the second is to grant them.”

- Oscar Wilde

I send out a “Quote for Your Day!” on a daily basis. If you like to think (and sometimes laugh), sign up for the daily quote by sending a blank e-mail to Quotes@inVisionaria.com with “Quote” in the subject line.

Until next time, I wish you joy and fun and ease and effortlessness!

Pat Obuchowski
CEO, Chief Empowerment Officer
inVisionaria

Helping people step into their roles as leaders in their businesses, their communities and the world. Helping people find their "Bigger Game."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

www.inVisionaria.com

Pat@inVisionaria.com
© 2006 Pat Obuchowski, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from the "Live with Intention" eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link. Please also notify me where the material will appear. The attribution should read:

"By Pat Obuchowski of inVisionaria."

Brief Biography
Pat Obuchowski is the CEO (Chief Empowerment Officer) of inVisionaria. inVisionaria is a company devoted to helping people and organizations find and achieve their vision and their voice. She works with individuals and organizations that are looking for structure, focus and accountability to set and achieve their goals. She also works with people who are ready to make big changes in their businesses and their lives and step into the leaders they've been yearning to be. People who are ready, willing and able to begin playing their "Bigger Game." No kidding. Right now.
The approach to achieve this and create this alliance is individually based and is designed between Pat and each of her clients.

Testimonial:

“I have in fact been promoted – due almost completely to what I learned working with you. You bring to the coaching relationship intelligence, integrity, a sense of humor, respect for me, for who I am – very good at listening and then calling me on things.”

- Director at a Biotech Company

************************************************

CONTACTING ME. I receive a large number of emails every day. I get many questions and it's hard to get to them all. However, I do my best. If you don't hear from me in a few days, please try again. Your email may have fallen between the cracks.

PRIVACY and SPAM POLICY: I never rent, trade or sell my email
list to anyone for any reason whatsoever. You'll never get an
unsolicited email from a stranger as a result of joining this list.

Inquiries from publishers are welcome, but please do not use my work without my written permission (Pat@inVisionaria.com). If, despite my intention not to, I have inadvertently used something of yours inappropriately, please notify me and I will remove it immediately.